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I love Guillermo del Toro, and I was excited about Crimson Peak (2015), but it was quite awful. The dialogue was unbearably stilted and the CGI was appalling. We turned it off halfway through, intending to pick it back up later, but honestly, life is too short.
Nicole and I watched Vampires (1998). We had reasonably high hopes bc John Carpenter, but this vampire western was hot garbage. Misogynistic thug vampire-hunters James Woods and Daniel "Budget" Baldwin hunt "The Master" with lots of inane tough talk and gratuitous violence. (I've now filled my lifetime quota for hearing "you fucking bitch." 🙄) Also, there is a strange homophobic/repressed homoerotic thing going on with Woods' character... no idea what that's about. The vampires themselves were also pretty uninspiring, brain-dead cannon fodder. All the effects were super OTT too. There were a couple cool scenes, but honestly this one was kind of a slog. ~~ If you wanna watch dusty tough guys kicking vampire butt, watch From Dusk til Dawn (1996) instead. ~~ Thanks for hanging in there with me, Nicole!
Willow Creek (2014) was pretty bad. Not quite as bad as Backcountry, but honestly, why do people keep trying to make Blair Witch? Once you've had the best, don't mess with the rest!
Despite having the advantage of having been made in the 80s, aka the best horror decade, this movie was pretty terrible. The dialogue was kind of hilarious, tho. For one example of a representative exchange:
Doctor Robert Elliott: How are things going with you and Mike?
Kate Miller: Fine.
Doctor Robert Elliott: Good.
Kate Miller: [considering for a moment] No, they're not fine. What a stupid word that is. He gave me one of his wham-bang specials today and I'm mad at him. Isn't that right? Shouldn't I be mad at him?
Doctor Robert Elliott: Yeah. Did you tell him?
Kate Miller: Of course not. I moaned with pleasure at his touch - isn't that what every man wants?
Doctor Robert Elliott: I don't know. Is it?
Kate Miller: Don't start that stuff with me.
The Conjuring 2 was pretty terrible. Better than the first one, but that's not saying much. Thanks Mark for sticking it out with me!
The Signal (2007) was brutal. 3 different segments by 3 directors - only Jacob Gentry's portion (Jealousy Monster) had any redeeming value, IMHO, because parts were very funny (photo is from this segment). The first part was meh and the third part was just ugly and awful. Overall "yuck" rating for the gratuitous violence against women, which felt motivated more by misogyny than by the plot.
